On this section devotees can add various jokes narrated by His Holiness Jayapataka Swami. We encourage devotees to contribute and create a wonderful Krishna conscious jokes collection and thus give pleasure to devotees.


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Comment by sankarsana gaura dasa on October 14, 2011 at 3:19pm

In Tirupati temple, after Guru Maharaj taken his bath, servants told one coimbatore devotee Nanda Prana Das Prabhu to clean the bathroom. After cleaning the bathroom, Nanda Pran prabhu came out. Guru Maharaj told him, 'you are G.B.C.'. Nobody can able to understand. After few seconds, Guru Maharaj expanded the abbreviation G.B.C. as " Good Bathroom Cleaner". Everybody laughed for minutes together.

Comment by Sanjay on September 20, 2011 at 7:47pm

Hare Krishna, during 2011 Radhastami time i visited Mayapur and Mahavara prabhu asked me to bring some vitamins for Guru maharaj its called probiotic 25 billion, Mahavara prabhu was informing Guru Dev that sarvajaya bought Probiotic 30 billion immediately GuruMaharaj asked Mahavara to count and we all started laughing with Guru Maharaj. GuruDev ki Jaiiiiii!

Comment by Tarini Radha on November 2, 2010 at 8:23pm
During his visit to chennai last month (oct 2010), Guru maharaj had all the second initiation devotees waiting for their gayatri in front of him. Then he asked, "Do all of you have your right ear open?" Then, in a very funny gesture, he tied both his hands in front of him across his stomach and declared, "If you do not have your right ear open, I refuse to give you the Gayatri!" At a tense moment, when all the devotees were so nervous waiting for their Gayatri, guru maharaj lightened the mood so nicely.
Comment by Tarini Radha on November 2, 2010 at 8:17pm
Hare Krishna! In one lecture guru maharaj said how during his visit to a temple in Madurai, south India, an elephant gave him a garland. And then he adds, "But the elephant was very naughty. When he gave me the garland, he also pulled my shikha!" I enjoyed hearing this very much, relishing the humour of Guru maharaja. Later, he visited Chennai again with the South Indian safari. I was in his room when he was seeing the photos of his visit to Madurai that year. He passed me one photo and said, "The elephant offered me a garland". Extremely excited to be able to be a part of this pastime in reality, I asked with a twinkle in my eye, "Was he also naughty guru maharaj?". Guru maharaj looked up sharply and said, "How did you know about that?". I explained how i had heard it in a lecture. He was satisfied. And i was delighted to be able to relate with him directly on a pastime that I had enjoyed so much while hearing.
Comment by Sakhyaras Priya DD on October 28, 2010 at 9:22pm
Recently (26th Oct, 2010 @ Juhu Temple) Guru Maharaj after giving his lecture was answering questions of devotees and in one of the context mentioned about the show " Kaun Banega Crorepati? ". He said I have the secret to it, If one chants 16 rounds daily then in a year one would have taken the holy names over a crore times. And then he asked everyone around " So... Kaun Banega Crorepati? " Everyone raised their hands enthusiastically smiling... Haribol! Guru Maharaj ki Jai!
Comment by Mathura Lilesvari dd on October 14, 2010 at 3:29pm
Narahari dev das is better not to post than to post something like the beer lila and add a disclaimer...just a thought :-) Hari Hari
Comment by Srivas Krsna Caitany Das on October 14, 2010 at 3:11pm
I was in mayapur during Balaram Jayanthi 2010. We were doing kirtan and after having his breakfast prasadam Guru Maharaj came out and started distributing Maha Prasadam. At the same time disciples were giving him guru dakshina and GM got and gave this to a brahmacari who was standing at the right. GM was collecting Maha prasadam from Brahmacari who was standing in the left and giving to his disciples. Slowly GM saw the brahmachari who was giving maha prasadam to GM to distribute started reducing the quantity eventhough there was sufficient maha prasadam. Immediately Guru Maharaj took 500 Rs. note from the Brahmacari who was staying right and gave the brahmacari who was giving maha prasadam and told him that dont be so tight in giving prasadam. Guru Maharaj ki jai!
Comment by Parama Purusha Nitai Das on October 13, 2010 at 4:32pm
i had a nice pastime with guru maharaj
gurumaharaj was having lunch and i was serving Him and He looked at me with His amazing eyes and told ,"yes". I said yes maharaj, Then He said, "what did you say" couple of times and I couldn't get it. In the end I realised that I should have said, "Yes Guru Maharaj." coz I surrendered unto Him as my spiritual master. I spoke finally Yes Guru Maharaj and Then GuruMaharaj started busting to laugh and told me that I got scared for a while. I enjoyed that moment :)
Comment by Sasvata Nimai das on September 22, 2010 at 4:49pm
Yes this danda danda Gopal das pastime is really famous! I heard this before also!
Jay Gurudeva!
Comment by JPS Disciples Team on September 21, 2010 at 4:13am
The Disciple named DANDA-DANDA

Once in Mayapur, there were about forty to fifty devotees taking initiation. I was sitting next to HH Hridayananda Maharaja and other devotees during thee initiation ceremony. One by one devotees were coming and receiving there beads. Suddenly I saw HH Hridayananda Maharaja's sannyasa danda slipping down, and it was almost going to hit Him on his head. Then i called out "DANDA DANDA!" someone grabbed the danda and prevented it from falling.

Just then the next devotee came up for receiving his initiation beads, and he heard me saying "Danda! Danda!" I gave him the beads and named him "Gopal Das".

After sometime I went to a temple in some distant place, and there they brought one devotee and said,"This is your disciple Danda Danda! Actually I had not given anyone the name "Danda danda!" then i remembered the whole incident.

Sometimes when things are handed down,they may not always be received correctly

(Excerpts from the lecture in Atlanta delivered on june 23rd 1986)
Comment by indulekha prabha devi dasi on September 6, 2010 at 11:51am
i remember listening to one lecture by Gurumaharaj...where He was saying that nowadays in kaliyuga there are many so called "gurus" who actually call themselves "Bhagavan" or the Supreme Personality of Godhead...then He kept quiet for a few seconds and then suddenly He roared "Bhagavan Gurudev ki...." and the entire audience,out of their usual habit,reiterated ''JAYA"...and then Gurumaharaj's face broke into a big smile!!! EVERYONE in the audience had fallen for His smart joke!!!! :-D
Comment by Sasvata Nimai das on June 29, 2010 at 5:11pm
Shabdahari prabhu's pastime is sooo wonderful!
Comment by Damana Krishna dasa on June 28, 2010 at 2:09pm
In 1998 I was serving Gurumaharaja in Croatian Summer Camp. GM had some throat problem. He was taking prasadam and then he asked me to bring cloves. I understood that he wants a cloth by which he will clean something. This was product of my false ego who wanted to understand something separate from the desire of Gurumaharaja. As always material mind wants to put some interpretation on Guru mukhya padma vakya. I asked GM how big cloth he wants and was showing different sizes with hands. Then GM was only looking me with amazed eyes. I went to search for a nice piece of cloth. I came back and presented a piece of cloth to GM, he said to me that he wants cloves not a cloth. So, I came back with a some cloves I got from kitchen. GM laughed that he was afraid that we have so big cloves then what would be the use and how to chew. It is instructive joke on showing if we are not sure about gurus instruction to be humble and show we dont understand instead of speculating.
Comment by Mathura Lilesvari dd on June 28, 2010 at 12:21pm
Once in Mayapur, during his japa walks, I was walking with Guru Maharaj. Guru Maharaj asked me, "So what are you studying now?" I said, "I'm doing MASS communications, Guru Maharaj". Guru Maharaj in return said, "Why do you want to MESS the communications". Guru Maharaj has such a great sense of humour!
Comment by bhaktibhava devi dasi on June 28, 2010 at 6:01am
Once when GM passed at Dallas Airport, I was the one in Dallas so they asked me to make sandwiches for him...I made the sandwiches but combined GM's with his servants. Means I did not leave them separate. they all went in the same container. When GM was eating them he looked at his servants sandwich and told me why does his sandwich has more cheese than mine????What actually he was trying to teach me that I should leave his sandwiches in separate container...but it was a big laughter...:)
Comment by sukirti subhadra devi dasi on June 16, 2010 at 10:42pm
once devotees were helping maharaj in searching for names. one of them stated that all rivers are female personified ,gurumaharaj.But gurumaharaj was very quick in stating that brahmaputra isnt ,i think. the devotee who thought he was very smart was humbled indeed. hare krishna.
Comment by Navanari Devi Dasi on June 14, 2010 at 11:00pm
This is wonderful pastime, so touching , Guru Maharaj Ki jai!!!
Comment by Damana Krishna dasa on May 26, 2010 at 1:03pm
One time I did mistake and Gurumaharaja told me that it shows how inteligent I am and that I must have used all my inteligence to make such a mistake. Because I was so proud and didnt want to listen to my heart so GM showed me that pride of inteligence is useless.
Comment by sundari mani on May 3, 2010 at 12:00pm
devotee:One devotee was selling the book Reincarnation
Customer: The person is taking the book and saying you give me this book now, I pay the money in the next birth
Devotee.Devotee replayed if you born as a human i can collect if you born as a dog to whom i will go and collect the money?
Comment by Sukanti Radha dasi on May 2, 2010 at 4:31pm
Jai! This made me both cry and laugh. Beautiful!



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